


the cello bow incident

by 8bitheart



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:07:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25355983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8bitheart/pseuds/8bitheart
Summary: reupload
Kudos: 13





	the cello bow incident

“Myu-chan! There’s a young lady outside the tour bus.”

Camus frowns, lowering a makeup wipe from his face. They never let fans near the bus, so why should they start today? But Reiji’s announcement sounds cheerful as opposed to cautious, so maybe it’s not something horrible. “… Uh-huh. And what is she doing there?”

“She wants you to sign her cello! Says you’re the reason she started playing.”

His face muscles unclench slightly. Camus has signed many things in his life - posters, CDs, towels - but being requested to sign a musical instrument was a new one. People often seem to forget that the Quartet Night members are more than just idols; they’re all musicians, artists in their own right. For someone to not only recognize his instrumental prowess, but to want it _immortalized_ in the form of their very own instrument that he has inspired them to pick up in the first place… Camus would be a liar to say he isn’t touched. Not that he would admit that out loud.

He sighs. “Very well, I’ll do it. But only because she asked politely rather than just demanding things like the majority of those peasants do. Just tell her to wait a few more minutes for us to clean up and change out of our stage outfits. I’ll allow her onto the bus, just this once.”

“Got it!” Reiji gives him a thumbs up and bounces off to relay the news to the girl.

Mere minutes later, all four members are back in the tour bus, the window behind them open just a crack to combat the hot summer air. After nearly three hours of performing, their costumes are adhering to their sweat-covered skin, so it seems practical to exchange them for loungewear. Camus is the first to be done, so he sits cross-legged on his bunk, leafing through his social media feed and waiting for the others to finish changing so this girl can join them. A breach of tour policy, really, but nobody ever has to know.

Then, Ranmaru’s screams rip through the air. Camus nearly hits his head on the overhead bunk from how hard he flinches.

Tossing his phone aside, Camus rushes toward the couch, where Ai is gripping Ranmaru by the wrist and yanking him away from the window. Camus’ eyes dart to the window, where he sees a long, sharp object that has jammed its way through the crack in the window and is currently flailing around, making stabbing motions just barely missing the backs of the boys’ skulls.

Reiji jumps back, screaming as it thrusts toward him, but his eyes widen when he finally sees it up close. “Is that… a cello bow?”

Then, it disappears.

“Ranmaru, Reiji, are you okay? Did either of you guys get hurt?” Ai asks, his voice shaking.

“N-No, I’m fine…” Reiji mumbles.

“Yeah…” Ranmaru rubs his forehead.

Camus, on the other hand, is beginning to shake.

“Eh? Myu-chan?”

Wordlessly, he marches over to the window, kneels on the couch, and spreads the blinds apart with his fingers.

Lo and behold, the girl is still standing beside the bus with her cello in hand - and her bow, too, apparently.

The other three can practically see the steam coming out of Camus’ ears as he pulls away from the window and marches towards the door, hands balled into fists at his side.

“Myu-chan!?”

“Oi! Camus! The hell are you doing!?”

Their questions fall on deaf ears as Camus shoves his feet into a pair of sandals, then makes his way outside.

“Madam, I believe it is time you leave.”

She looks up at the sound of his voice, her eyes twinkling with excitement. “C-Camus-sama… omigosh, it’s really you! Thank you so much for-”

“Did you not hear me the first time?” he snarls. “I believe you should be on your way.”

It’s then that she notices the angry expression he’s glaring at her with. Her face quickly falls. “But… my cello?”

“Absolutely not.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Out of the goodness in my heart, I was going to allow you something we have never granted to any fan before, ever. All you had to do was wait, and I would have signed your cello. But that was not enough for you, you had to take it upon yourself to invade our privacy, and now you don’t get to say hello to anyone.”

She frowns. “This is insane, I just…”

“What’s _insane_ is this outrageous breach of our personal space. You are not entitled to anything from us. Now leave or I will call security on you.”

The threat succeeds in keeping her at bay. “Got it.” She waves at him before stalking off. “Have a good night.”

Camus merely scoffs at her before going back inside.

The others are watching him with wide eyes, having apparently witnessed the whole conversation take place from the window.

Ranmaru smirks. “You broke your butler persona just to tell some chick off for nearly stabbin’ me?”

Camus rolls his eyes, flopping back onto his bed. “Shut up, fool.”

* * *

“Are you _fucking_ kidding me!?”

They all rush out at the sounds of Ranmaru’s yelling first thing in the morning.

His face is red with rage. He points to a graffiti tag on the side of their bus that has mysteriously appeared overnight. “Anyone know how to remove permanent marker from the side of a bus?”

Upon closer inspection, the message, sloppily scrawled out in black Sharpie, reads: “I waited five years to see you and all I wanted was my cello signed.”

Camus groans. “Why do I even bother…”


End file.
